What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.