Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.