Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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