i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
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This is my gift to your gina
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.