Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(928): View more from Arizona

i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(908): View more from New Jersey

was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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(519): View more from Ontario

You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.

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