Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it

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(804): View more from Virginia

Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.

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(702): View more from Nevada

the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.

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(253): View more from Washington

The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.

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