on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
