the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
