When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
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If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
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They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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