feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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