I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
