Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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