We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
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You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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