he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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