i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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