Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
