She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My dick has a subreddit
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize