I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
