Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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