Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
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I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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