your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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