If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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