apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize