I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
