Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying