I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.