I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.