I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit