Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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