I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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