nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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