Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
