my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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