I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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