i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
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i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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