my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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