so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
