I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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