I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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