Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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