They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
