She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
