She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
