I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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