shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
