Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
