we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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