i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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