I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
