i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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