the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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