I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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