I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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