Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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