It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
