Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Everyone says I win the strip club
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize