so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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