Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
