i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
