No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school