Jerry, you need to find god
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
then he tried to convert me to islam
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness