seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.