i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
