I heard we made out
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?