i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy