Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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