What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
