both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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