she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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